Day 2: The Mitchell Repore (The "T" is Silent)

Unless this is the first news source you've looked at today(and if it is, get help) you know the Mitchell Report was released today. You may care about Clemens, Pettite, and and Tejada, but I don't. I, of course, care about the underachieving Cubs in the report, primarily Jerry Hairston Jr. and "I'm Sofa King Wee" Todd "Did From All Those Beers" Hundley. I'll start with Hairston because he situation is easier to describe. He sucked. According The Repore:
Hairston was referred to Radomski by David Segui, his teammate on the Orioles
from 2002 to 2004. Radomski said that he sold human growth hormone to Hairston on two or
three occasions during 2003 and 2004.

The season I linked to above was 2005. HGH doesn't just wear off like some people think. What the hell's the problem, man? I know, I know, 5 homers in 114 games is a BIG thing to ask for from a professional baseball player, but couldn't you do it on HGH? Eckstein did it without HGH twice. Eckstein! What's worse, you did it twice before 2003. What was the point?

Now to the good part. Hundley. Mr. Mitchell, the floor is yours (Get it? He was a Senator. I'm hilarious.)

Radomski has known Hundley since 1988, when Radomski worked for the Mets
and Hundley played in the Mets’ minor league system.380 Radomski stated that, beginning in
1996, he sold Deca-Durabolin and testosterone to Hundley on three or four occasions. At the
beginning of that year, Radomski told Hundley that if he used steroids, he would hit 40 home
runs. Hundley hit 41 home runs in 1996, having never hit more than 16 in any prior year. After
the season, Radomski said, Hundley took him out to dinner.

Looking at his stats, the sudden spike, as well as the steep decline, are pretty drastic. The man who very well could be the worst Cub of all time was on the juice. Dinkin' flicka'.

And what could possibly be the most important Cub related news out of The Repore, Mitchell talked to former Cubs pitcher Matt Karchner. What he heard depicts rampant use around the team:

Karchner said that during spring training in 1999, he observed two of his Chicago
Cubs teammates inject themselves with steroids in an apartment that Karchner was sharing with
them. Karchner declined to identify the players. He said that one of the players brought the
steroids to the apartment but was afraid of needles and therefore asked the second player to
administer the shot. The second player injected the first player with steroids in the buttocks and
then injected himself.
Later that season, Karchner was offered steroids by certain of his Cubs
teammates. Karchner would not disclose the names of players who offered him steroids, but he
said that the conversations he had with them involved the general cost of steroids and discussions
of “stacking” to build lean muscle necessary for pitchers. Karchner did not report either of these
incidents to anyone at the time.

Uh oh...


The Day It All Began (Which would be Day 1)

It is December something right now (if you must, check under this post). Today, the Cubs signed Kosuke Fukudome to a 4 year, $48 million deal. An outfield of The Fonz, Fukudome, and Pie/Pagan/Murton/other inconsistent young outfielder along with D-Lee and A-Ram has some people(meaning me) excited. I've done some research(meaning I've watched a video on YouTube) and he's like a fighter jet made of biceps. Here are some things to look forward to:
  • Arms: Sori, Pie,and Fukudome are not to be fucked with if you're a baserunner.
  • Baserunning: This guy could use some pointers.
  • Left-handed power: I've heard it helps
  • Signs at opposing ballparks: We've already heard some doozies throughout the 'sphere(that's right, I did it), but I can't wait to see what those fatties in Milwaukee have to say. (Sarcasm. I actually couldn't care less. Speaking of the Crew, this is known as a jinx in some suburban inner circles.)
  • Utter disappointment. A horrible injury. A great year!